If you call yourself a husband, then you better be prepared to call yourself a leader as well. Recently, my wife, Jessica Ashworth, wrote a blog (www.lifemarriagekidsandgod.blogspot.com) on the wife's role regarding submission to the husband. Admittedly, she struggles with this concept, as most women do. In fact, it is part of the curse given to women in the garden once sin was first introduced to mankind. Genesis 3:16 states, "And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you." (Before I lose all my women here reading this post please continue to read. God does not want your husband to rule over you!) Submit? Rule? Those are some pretty hard words to swallow. I get it, and if the Bible told me that my wife would rule over me and that I must submit to her I would grapple with that idea as well. To worsen the problem, our culture is filled with feministic ideas that preach women's individualism and power. Women have fought for a greater voice and position. While much of this effort has been good, and just, some women have lost the sense of balance and seemingly desire for all manly influence or leadership to be done away with.
As I cannot nearly describe all the beauty and complexities of marriage and God's word, particularly in a short post, let me try to paint a beautiful picture for you. One thing that my father has taught me about God that I have found to be true time and time again is that He is a God of balance. For every negative there is a positive. For every demand there is a reward. For every night there is a day. You get the picture. Marriage, and the roles of the woman and the man, work just the same. First, to set the record straight, God never desired man to rule over the woman. God created woman to be an equal counterpart/helper/guide. This curse was a result of the man and woman sinning against God. Furthermore, God (Jesus) came to this earth in the flesh and died for our sins to remove the curse we brought upon ourselves. Once the cursed was removed a new command was given regarding the interaction between man and woman. We find this command in Ephesians chapter 5 verses 24 and 25. It states, "As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her."
No longer is the woman told that she will be ruled over but rather, that she is to submit. Submission is a willing action where being ruled over is not. You may be asking at this point, "Why would the woman willingly submit to her husband?" The answer lies in the command given to the husband. Husbands are to love like Christ loved the church. What does this really mean? That at all times, as my father-in-law would say- period dot, men are to have the best interest in mind for their wives with a servant-hood attitude and be ready to give their lives for their protection/good in an instance. Do you see the beauty in this? The complete balance? Women are called to submit, but they are submitting to someone who in turn ought to be trying to serve the one who is submitting to them. Is this not a picture of love and balance? While men are called to lead, it is only to lead in love. It should be a joy and a ease for the woman to submit to her man because her man loves her with a fierce Christ like serving type of love. The problem occurs when our sin nature gets in the way and we revert back to the structure where women try to control and men try to rule. There is no balance in this only chaos, heartbreak, and divorce.
To all my men out there. Man up, and be a real leader! Lead in love and in serving. I am so sick and tired of the television portraying men to be either weak sissy boys or perverted macho thugs. I want to show this world and my wife what a real man should look like!! I am still a young man, and have only been married for five years now, and I realize that I still have lots to learn on the topic but I am asking you all, men and women, to join my wife and I in this pursuit.
