Disappointed with Life and God?

If you have never been disappointed with life and God then lucky you, but the honest truth I think the majority of us, at one point or another, has felt this sinking disappointment. We humans are caught between temporary and eternal. Our hearts long for the eternal blissful conditions of heaven yet, we find ourselves living this life on earth that can be at times anything but blissful, and all too temporary. Therefore, if we are not careful the disappointment that this life sometimes brings will lead to an uglier disappointment with God.

Never have I felt as let down as I did that night. That night I was online watching the School Board meeting stream live. Sound exciting? Well it was to me because I just recently applied for the position of Assistant Principal and I was told that in this meeting the Superintendent was going to announce the assignments of new principals. This was good news because it would tell me where some possible openings might be for my job. After all the principal announcements were made the Super. immediately went into announcing new assistant principals. As the names were being announced my heart sank deeper and deeper. I was told they were not making those decisions until June and this was May. The hurt, anger, and confusion came quickly. "Does this mean I didn't get the job? Why did no one speak to me first? I can't believe this! Did I waste all my time, energy, and money trying to become an assistant principal!? God I thought this is what you wanted me to do?" I think you get the picture.

Over the next couple of days I was miserable to to be around. My wife whom I have known for 12 years said she has never seen me like this before. Around day three or four I was called in to speak with an Executive Director who confirmed they passed over me for the job. I fought hard against it but it didn't change a thing. The disappointment set in. This was the second year in a row I had been hand selected out of many to interview only to be told, "We like you, but not that much yet." There is a lot more back story that made this even more gut wrenching for me but I don't want to bore you will all the details. Hopefully you get the picture of how I was feeling, because I want to get to the point of this post. Looking back God allowed me to go through this painful situation to reveal what was in my heart so He could lovingly and graciously heal me like only He can.

The night of the bad news before going to bed I gathered myself enough to read a quick devotion by Joyce Meyer called The Battlefield of the Mind. I accidentally turned to the particular one that was titled "Not Getting What You Want". I began to read it hoping it would make me feel better but after I read it I only felt more disappointed because I thought it was God's way of confirming that I didn't get the job. In a way it was but it was much more than that. It was a gift.

About two weeks passed since the night I read that devotion, and I had finally accepted the fact that I was just going to be a teacher again. My church asked me to lead a men's Bible study and as I was thinking and praying about what to teach on my mind went back to the devotion. It was like God was telling me, "Don't just look at the Easter egg but open it!" So open up the egg I did, and out came a wonderful gift of revelation and understanding that brought immense healing.

Summarizing the devotion I boiled it down to four basic points that greatly determine how well we deal with life and disappointment. These points act as a gateway to let in trust or disappointment towards God. Here are the points and the probing questions/remedies that I assigned to each. (To you these may sound so simple and "churchy" but put yourself in a position of wanting something so badly you can taste it and truthfully consider these.)

1. Expectations- Do I always expect things to go my way, and does anger follow when that does not occur? If so then your expectations are skewed and non-biblical. It is not biblical to always get your way because that is a constant attempt elevate yourself above others and God.    
2. Patience- Am I desperate for something other than God, and do I overly self-promote? If so then you have a lack of patience. The Bible has called us to have hope and endurance, and to serve others not ourselves. God should be our only desperation because when all is stripped away without Him we are nothing!
3. Character- Am I often complaining or am I fearful? Do I battle feelings of being trapped? If so then you are suffering from ungodly character. We are to have the character of Christ and our identity/joy needs to be found in eternal things not in our jobs or our current circumstances. 
4. Humility- Do I have a prideful sense of entitlement and wrestle with arrogant thought patterns? - "I should be first. I am better than everyone. I should have won. I should have gotten that." If so then you are lacking humility and you are not submitted to God's will for your life or for the life of others. 

During my struggle I could have answered yes to every question above. I especially felt trapped. Trapped at my present level. God could not promote me because my heart was not in the right condition to be promoted, and He is more concerned about my eternal state of being than my current pay check. He gave me this heart check gift that will stick with me the rest of my life. I had no hope of being promoted and God pulled me under His arm and told me, "It is okay- here is why..." He gave me the understanding to be content at my present level or even below my present level. Then as a gift of grace (a blessing that is undeserved) my God promoted me. A different school system hired me as an assistant principal, one that I would have never expected. My school is one of the most beautiful schools I have ever seen, it is in one of the nicest communities available, I love the people I work with, and I can better take care of my family financially. But could I have been content if all this didn't happen. I can honestly answer yes. Is your heart in the right condition to be promoted?